Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman.P.S. If you are on Facebook, pls stand up for free speech and help get those 13 Virgin flight attendants reinstated by joining my group:
All the world's waiting for you,
and the power you possess.
In your satin tights,
Fighting for your rights
And the old Red, White and Blue.
Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman.
Now the world is ready for you,
and the wonders you can do.
Make a hawk a dove,
Stop a war with love,
Make a liar tell the truth.
Wonder Woman,
Get us out from under, Wonder Woman.
All our hopes are pinned on you.
And the magic that you do.
Stop a bullet cold,
Make the Axis fall,
Change their minds, and change the world.
Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman.
You're a wonder, Wonder Woman.
Flight Blog: Bogotá
Filed in FLIGHT BLOGS on Saturday, 02/05
On the way to Bogotá yesterday the Queen of Sky was working in the back of the 757 with a slightly bitchy Brazilian queen, whom we shall call Silvio. Silvio's motto regarding passengers is, "This is my house and you are my guests." (In other words, SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!)
After the service Silvio and I were gossiping in the back galley about other flight attendants. He told me that another Brazilian guy we both knew had had a sex change operation and was now going to fly as a woman.
He had me going for a good ten minutes.
"Just kidding!" he finally squealed, getting a big kick out of himself.
Actually, I have flown with a transsexual flight attendant before. I just thought he/she was a big girl like me. It wasn't until after the trip that I heard what his/her receding hairline and fake breasts were really all about. (He/she always wore a scarf, so his/her Adam’s apple was not visible.)
The Queen of Sky is so clueless sometimes.
Anyhow, I hate the 757. I always hit my head on the video screens, and passengers always get mad at us because the overhead bins fill up within ten minutes of boarding. Especially on Latin America flights, where passengers try to bring on everything but the kitchen sink... well, sometimes that, too.
And the Queen of Sky, not being particularly empathetic, somehow is always the one who has to rip the overstuffed bag from their trembling clutches and drag it to the front door to check it.
I'll have you know I have never won any customer service awards. In fact, I am that flight attendant that you asked for a cup of water on your flight to Europe last summer…the one you’re still waiting for.
Sorry, I have a very short memory.
There have been studies about the effects of high altitude radiation on your brain wherein they have found that flying shrinks your brain.
Plus, the Queen of Sky is so tired from commuting to work at the crack of dawn the day of her trip that she cannot be bothered with your frivolous requests.
Anyhow, back to my trip. Our hotel van in Bogotá has bulletproof windows. And when we arrived at the hotel, a dog sniffed our bags for explosives. Made me feel very secure. (Not!) Actually, I’m surprised we don’t have an armed escort there, like we do in Lima.
On the way back from Bogotá today, the Queen of Sky was sitting on the so-called Sharon Stone jumpseat in the mid-galley area. The jumpseat got is name from the fact that you are facing the first row of coach passengers, and any slight movement will give those passengers a free show if you are wearing a skirt.
And of course the Queen of Sky was wearing a skirt.
In the first row, directly in front of my jumpseat, sat a redneck wearing a trucker hat that read "Alabama."
He had raised a fuss during boarding when there was no room directly over his head for his bags. I told him there was plenty of space in the back.
"You know how it is when you're tryin’ to get off," he said.
I did not like his tone.
"Oh, well," I replied unconcerned, turning back to the boarding door.
Julie, the girl working with me, was more empathetic and put his bag in first class for him.
I was going to let the bags incident slide, but then, during the flight, I caught said redneck trying to look up my skirt. I thought it was my imagination, but Silvio and Julie said they noticed it, too. Not only that, he was constantly grabbing his "goods."
Silvio said he had copped a feel of Mr. Redneck's "goods" when he passed him in the aisle on the way to the lav. He had been checking out Mr. Redneck’s goods since the beginning of the flight. I told Silvio he could have him. The Queen of Sky does not like white trash.
I was going to say something rather politically incorrect here about the reason that gringo males travel alone to South America. (In my experience, it is usually to find hookers or pick up their mail- or internet-order brides.) But then I saw said redneck in the crew and diplomat line in US Immigration, and overheard him declare to the crewmembers in front of him, “Ah’m a dip-lo-mat.”
If that is what US diplomats look and act like, I think our country is in trouble. But then again, we already are in trouble with the world community... but I'm not going to go there. This is a strictly non-political blog.
Hasta luego...
-Queen of Sky
P.S. Thanks to each of my five commenters for all of your positive words! Glad you enjoy my blog!
